Its been a while, but  I wanted to share some things that are on my heart.  This has been a difficult semester for me so far.  Not only with classes, but in my walk with God.  I'm learning how to trust Him in EVERYTHING.  It's easy to say we always trust God, but do we really?  I know there have been many times that I say I trust him, when in fact, I really don't.  That has bothered me tremendously and I've finally started to surrender everything to him and show him that I really do trust him.  It's one thing to say it, but another to actually do it.  God doesn't want our words.  Words can be meaningless.  He wants our actions. 

I love learning, but sometimes I feel like going to classes and being in school get in the way of spending time with God.  I'm taking 18 hours this semester and working on top of that.  I wish my days could be spent totally focused on him.  I know I can focus on him all day, but I can't spend the time with Christ that I feel he deserves.  I want him to have all of me every second of the day.  ...and after I say that, I realize he can...he has my thoughts and prayers throughout the day, my actions are usually, not always, preceded by asking myself if it's something Christ would do...He has my life.  But for some reason it's still not enough.  I need to really surrender my life to him.  From this point on, I'm going to do just that.

I talked with an older, wiser, Christian friend yesterday.  I always feel so encouraged after talking with him.  He talked about prayer and making sure Christ is the number one priority in my life.  Lately He hasn't been.  This makes me realize why the semester hasn't been going as smoothly as it could.  I'm preoccupied with things I want and what I feel is best for my life, when I've forgotten that Christ knows me better than myself and he has a plan for me.  His plan is far better than I could ever imagine for myself.  It's letting go of those hopes and dreams that's the tough part.  But I must do it.  Surrender my life to Jesus.  My thoughts should be filled with him and not other things. 

I was reading Colossians 3 today and it's about what Christians should do.  Perfect for what I'm learning right now.  Putting away the old self and putting on the new self.  Exactly what my life will portray from here on out.  I'm learning to be the godly woman I should for God, my friends, my future husband, my future children, and myself.  How exciting it is to see what God will do with my life.  I can't wait to see who I will become when this year is over.  My hope is that I will be bursting with Christ's love and light and being an example to those around me.

Here I go...seeking Christ in ALL I do.

><> Jen

I think I'm done with xanga.

No motivation.